When I was a little girl I thought 25 was officially old. I remember the day my brother turned 25, I thought he had officially hit old. Yeah, well 24 came and went and now I am sitting right in my 25th year of being alive. I am still wondering when the adult thing comes into play? On the outside, I might have on a pencil skirt and glasses and perfected eye liner and some halfway done hair. But underneath I literally have on polarbear underwear (too far?!) but seriously.. underneath I am still a 15 year old girl who sometimes wants to wear pig tails because it FEELS right. I still get up in the morning and wonder what the heck I am doing with my life…. But I thought at 25 evvvveryone had it figured out. Especially women because they were supposed to just get married and then have babies and thats what makes a girl happy right?! Honestly, someone who is sitting knee deep in student loans and an apartment I can barely pay the bills to, a fridge with some string cheese in it, and a lack of husbands and babies here, I am happy. Is this the good life?
But sometimes.. just once in a while.. I get these oh shit moments.. I get these moments of ** AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING ELSE ACCORDING TO FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM, MY FAMILY** I am single, I am okay with it. My mother suggests people she thinks I could maybe date from my past and of course they’re all either gay now, married now, or got some girl wifed down and is the farthest thing from available, or I am not interested. They say you have met your future partner by 25. But I beg to differ.. who are THEY anyway?
Our Creator did not intend for us to fret. His sole purpose is for us to rely, and enjoy.
I know these things fill my mind as a newly 25’er..
I need more money. I am fat. I need to write. I should have a husband, right?.. I need a new car before my bites the dust. In a year I wont have health insurance. I need to make more money. I need to pick a career. I am fat. I am tired. I need to work out.. BABIES!
But the long & the short is.. my 25 looks like this…
I am okay.
Happiness is transient, but so are those oh shit moments.
I may be 100 years old with polarbear underwear and a strong urge to wear pig tails.
I will never be perfect, nor will i marry someone from my past.
I listen to hippy music.
I love jesus.
I love to do some things because I CAN .. like eat birthday cake for breakfast
I no longer need anyone to tell me I am okay.
I don’t need affirmation in my decisions.
I am single and my time is coming..
I might not match, or act “proper” but I know how to behave.
I have wonderful friends.
I don’t function merely on others opinions.
I am beautifully made.
God is down with me.. in my version of 25.