Today the song “im in a hurry” by Alabama came on my pandora. I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me want to get up on my office chair and dance. I didn’t. But it took me back to my roots. My younger days, 20 years ago when I carried a multi colored boom box the size of a toaster on my shoulder and wore a bowl cut like it was it style. I miss those days. My clothes were perfectly organized, and clean for that matter. My mother would lay them out on my bed before the next day. I miss those days for sure. My biggest concern was whether or not my friends could play outside, or if my brother wanted to ride bikes. I never had to make any decisions as to what I wanted for lunch or dinner, both were wonderfully prepared by my mother. I remember spending so much time outside, so much time playing, and took naps without any judgement. I was rewarded when I wanted to read a book. Those days.. are gone

I think about these things often, how we hurry and hurry but we don’t even know why we are in a hurry. I think EVERYONE does this. My dad for example has hurried his life to climb the government ladder and rushed his retirement – one he worked his butt off for- but then when you finally get to that place that we are in such a hurry to get we don’t know what to do. He has looked forward to January for as long as I can remember. But at the end of the day, he will miss parts of the times where he wanted to rush through. I myself, wanted college to HURRY the hell up so i could get into the OH SO wonderful real world. I didn’t cherish the days where I spent the day outside because class got cancelled. I didn’t quite know how to appreciate the fact that my bills were going to be paid regardless, I could go to class or I could skip. I had so many days of freedom and no commitment. Looking back at those days I think sheesh how lucky I was; and I was in a hurry to get it over with?! Nuts. I am lucky if I get through 1 day without worrying about whether or not I will get out of work before the sun goes down, if the bills will be paid, if i will have fun, what I am doing with my life, where I am supposed to go next… And reading a book, who has that kinda time?!

Someone who i think is pretty wise said ” rest “.. In saying that he meant sit tight. Quit trying to do and get to and rush through everything just chill and just live. I think that’s harder than rushing. To sit still and enjoy that you are where you are [single, career not figured out, yadda yadda, i could go on all day] is not so easy. I think generations prior to mine almost had their plans laid out for them. It’s either you go to college or you don’t. You get married or you don’t. I can’t imagine being married at 18 years old, but sometimes I wish I had. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if i HAD gone to graduate school right out of school, but sometimes I wish I did know. I can’t imagine if I had kids by 25 like I always imagined, but sometimes I wonder what that life would be like. I can’t imagine what my life would be life if I wasn’t lucky enough to have a good job that pays the bills, and I never want to find out.

 

Life is what it is.. and it will play out in its own time but its nice to pause life and think someday I will be wondering why I worried, why I wanted things I didn’t have, why I wished things were going any faster than they already are.. And someday, I will miss this. So instead, I will choose to enjoy it. I will take 20 minutes out of my day and blog about the fact that I have no clue where I am going or what I am doing but all i have to do is “live and die, and I HAVE BEEN in a hurry and I don’t know why”…

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