Image

Though most of the people who say and use this phrase don’t actually know its origin. A bright red poster with clearly written white block letters “keep calm & carry on” was the 3rd of the posters created by UK ministry to lift morale of the British people in WWII times.. The crown of course would be King George VI’s above the text. Granted, when I think of this phrase or see it somewhere now I don’t think of that time period or anything significant. I think its been a trendy cute saying that is intended to boost morale of tweens all over. Though this poster was never distributed, it was printed.

I will tell you though there are many times where I see this and think.. sister keep calm = shut your mouth, be sweet, make a nice face and be calm= act like you are not phased, keep your composure. But at 25 –  be real – some things just make me want to say this phrase more than others..

1. Facebook
2. Pantyhose
3. Grocery Stores
4. Pay day
5. Birthdays
6. First dates
7. Finding new friends
8. People getting married
I could go on forever.

There are a few things in life that give me some unwarranted anxiety. You may laugh thinking THIS girl gets anxiety about pantyhose?! call the nut house find her a new home.. BUT I don’t think I am nuts. I think everyone has their weird qualities. Okay, so lets break this down.. Facebook = anxiety. I have to keep calm look through the mini feed seeing ultra sounds, monthly baby pictures, engagement photos, wedding, “we bought our first house”, you know the drill.. Same song second verse.. everyone is doing something that makes me feel a little bit uneasy. Granted – I am okay with being 25, single, and not in my career. I am not used goods and it is only a matter of time before I have my own.. but in the mean time I will keep calm and carry on, Facebook. Pantyhose and other compressing undergarments… You are so tiny and my body is much bigger. I stretch you out and fit my body into you like a sausage link. You make me feel skinny and slippery. But this is a love hate relationship. I constantly feel like I am going to 1. bust out of my wrapper [spanx] and my real fat rolls are going to make themselves known or 2. You [pantyhose] might get to rollin and just roll right off my body.  or 3. I will inevitable cut you with my neatly trimmed toe nails and have to throw you away and start over again. So panty hose, just know I will try to keep calm, you keep sucking me in. Next demon.. Kroger has become somewhere I no longer enjoy spending time. I hate shopping for food, I just want it to make its self at home on MY shelf. I don’t want to have to go pick it out. There are a milliondy people in the store. Which might i add always has the heater on full blast so sweating is initiated upon entrance. I do appreciate that you dont have someone standing there saying “welcome to walmart” because then my introvert self doesn’t have to feel guilty about zooming past saying “hi” – mid swift walk. So, 1. you make me sweat. 2. You offer too many options. 3. unless I bring a list I am going to buy tampons, cookiedough, and coffee creamer. [necessities]. 4. I hate self check out and you constantly peer pressure me into using them. I can’t tell you how many times I will be waiting in line and someone will say “MAAAAM THIS SELF CHECK OUT IS OPEN” and I always want to yell I HATE THOSE THINGS but I always say OH okay and feel obligated to go try to check myself out.  So to the kroger or as my grandmother would have said THE KROGERS, I am not giving you up because.. well i have to eat.

I could go on for days about things like birthdays – be real- you know damn well why birthdays give me anxiety. I am 25, half of 50. I am half way over the hill and I have nothing but some attitude problems to go along with it. I mean my 25 years have been well lived. And I am thankful for everything that I have and will have.. but why put a number on it? Age ain’t nothing but a number right, pretty ricky?

the moral of this story is.. it’s okay that things make me nervous. Or anxious.. But we must keep calm and keep squeezin in the spanx and continue to go to the grocery store because thats what we are supposed to do. Maybe someday there will be a solution to these things…but until then I say we welcome our weird feelings of certain situations or things..

Advertisements