Encouraged by an outside source, I began compiling a list of things that 20-something year old women SHOULD STOP doing. We are constantly hearing “what a woman” should do; but what about the things we are doing, that maybe we should stop!? Is there a number of such things we do as women that make our lives more difficult? Absolutely, and here is my version…
Stop saying “YES” to others and start saying “YES” to yourself.
Whether it’s at work, your friends, your parents, your boyfriend, whoever.. Start saying yes to yourself even if that means you have to skip wine Wednesday to get _____________ done. Make yourself a priority.
Stop saying you are “sorry” and start being more assertive.
We have all been there, sorry vomit. Sorry comes out even when you aren’t. Sorry comes out even when you shouldn’t be sorry. Pipe up, not down; respectably it’s okay to be assertive and say how you feel. Granted, there’s a fine line between bitchy and having an opinion. And for the love, please, stay professional at work. I am just saying be who you want and say what you mean.
Trying to be something you aren’t.
Personally, the older I get the more comfortable I am with WHO I am. Honestly, men and women are both weird. We all code switch, and act appropriately in certain situations because that’s how we have been raised – don’t get it twisted- by all means stay classy. I am just saying if you are a “beer”, “flats”, “loud”, “abrasive”, “nerd”, “anti-salad”, whatever kind of girl, so be it. By doing this you are going to find you are more comfortable with yourself. AND the people who mind by saying “did you just order a cheese burger on a date?!!!” they really aren’t comfortable (or someone i’d care to be on a date with).
Making excuses for men.
If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck…. guess what in the end it will be a duck. I don’t understand where this standard was lowered? But, I think it’s easy to say ” he did _________________… but he has a lot of potential. At 25, you really don’t need another project.
Telling yourself you’re fat.
I mean you might be, and that is that. HOWEVER, it’s almost like the phrase “fake it ’till you make it”. The more you tell yourself you are comfortable with YOU, the quicker you will actually be comfortable with YOU. I know you are all thinking “she totally calls herself fat” – what girl doesn’t!? My point is only to learn to find beauty in your imperfections and if you don’t like that you’re fat – workout.
Quit trying to obtain your M.R.S. degree.
WHAAAT?! I know ME saying that sounds totally backwards. BUT, contrary to popular belief, I have a college degree, and have no plans of marrying for $$$. I can’t tell you how many girls are married before they even tossed around the thought of having a career, or even goals for themselves not involving their husband. I can honestly say I am SO glad I haven’t been married yet, strictly for the reason of learning how to be alone (and because I would have been divorced too many times by now). It’s 2014, think for yourself, find your passion, learn something new, have goals, and figure out who you are before you sign up for marriage.
Stop making blatant bad decisions.
Being drunk on a week night, unprotected sex, quitting a job without having another, spending $$ you don’t have, no call no show, staying with a toxic boyfriend, eating a can of cinnamon rolls for no reason on a Tuesday night, or getting cheap spray tans WHATEVER it is.. I am just saying, at your age, there are some things that just aren’t justifiable anymore. Granted, everyone does stupid stuff, but think through things a little more. If it is super unhealthy or unsafe – just pass on that. I know personally, I have used this idea of thinking responsibly lately quite a bit and it’s helped me a ton. (no, I have not done all the things on the random example – 🙂 maybe 1 or 2).. My dad is pretty wise, he used to say “You have a brain, use it”. It used to seriously piss me off but, it’s so true. If everyone thought twice about their behavior we’d all be better off.
Preaching to the choir, right?! I think it’s normal for girls to compare themselves to someone else whether it be to their best friends career or to their arch nemesis’ married status… Whatever is going to happen for you, will be yours. I think it’s often hard personally not to compare my career to my friends. But I know some of my best friends compare their popularity, vehicle, personality, boyfriends, butts.. whatever. Just stop comparing yourself to any one else. Even if you are married, I know you compare your house or child to others.. It’s natural. But the more we can stop comparing the more we can enjoy our own. Plus, you will never look like Blake Lively – be real.
Stop feeling guilty.
Cheating on your diet, your boyfriend, your test, whatever.. Everyone does things to let themselves or someone else down. Guilt, is ugly. The more you learn to accept things for what they are and move on, you will learn to love your life. Eating mexican food, MIGHT not be on your diet menu, but wasn’t it worth it? Cheating on your boyfriend (i’ve never done) but can easily see how that would be something you’d feel bad about. Honesty is always the best policy. Be honest with yourself and with others. You can move on from the 6 cupcake bump in the road, or the C you made senior year.
I have found these things to be true in my life, and my life is getting more enjoyable each day. Life is good for us 20-somethings. So, accept your version of yourself, and learn to be the best version of yourself… for you.