20-somethings version of life..

Black flies.

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About a year ago my first article was published. It wasn’t anything complex or educational – quite stupid actually. There is something unique about writing, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. Almost like freedom in getting thoughts out on paper. I guess this is a way for me to empty my head, allowing more room for other things. At 26 and some change, I don’t actually have anything figured out – that in it’s self is opposite of what I thought a year ago. So for the sake of tradition – which i love- I will tell you what I know to be true at 26 years old.

1. Keep expectations low – standards high.
2. Education does not equal intelligence.
3. Loving and being in love are different things.
4. Hours spent with ones self can be hours well spent.
5. First impressions are crucial.
6. Every single person has something in them the world needs.
7. You can change yourself, but no one else.
8. Listening is often times more important than speaking.
9. Humor is a necessity.
10. Hangovers take more recovery time.
11. Happily living alone is something that can be done.
12. Age spots and surprise teenage acne really happen at the same time.
13. Don’t trust any feeling after 10 pm or before 8 am.
14. My soul must be soothed on a weekly basis.
15. Parents aging is a real life thing.
16. Saving dollars will pay off.
17. Exercise does more for my mind than my body.
18. Treasure routine – but take advantage of spontaneity once in a while.
19. Watching cops and eating cereal for dinner is still okay at 26.
20. A job that doesn’t mentally stimulate me is a waste of my time.
21. Honesty is the best policy.
22. You can’t choose the role you will play in another’s life.
23. Geriatrics are gems, and make my heart so full.
24. Life is a paradox. To appreciate good, you must know how bad feels.
25. Feeling everything deeply is in fact a blessing and a curse.
26. People often make bad decisions, love them anyway.
27. Feeling like a child is a rarity and should be cherished.
28. Drinking beer makes me chubby.
29. Organic Milk costs more but lasts much longer than regular.
30. Lip stick.. yes, lip stick is part of my life now.


What’s on tonight…

It’s so contradicting to post this on my BLOG, but if I needed to think about it I am sure everyone else does too. Granted, this dudes grammar isn’t supreme, but his effort is valiant. I promise the best months I have had in my LIFE were the ones I lived with 8 inner-city kids in the middle of the woods in the summer with no AC. Where we had to work our problems out interpersonally. Where things were simple, tough but fun. No cell phone/fb/snapchat whatever for the summer. But if it weren’t for technology how would I know that they are in their first year of college right now?  I wouldn’t. Blessing and a curse.

Making music.



More here

Right.. Things i love and hate about my personality.

Banks.. y’all…


Lifelong romance: This couple has been married for 64 years! They have four children, eleven grandchildren, and ten great-grandchilden.

Old love is what makes me think there is hope for the world. I tell you this story not so that you can think this old man is cute, but to realize there is good in the world – and that this is what life is about.

Today I talked with a little old man about his currently situation. Wife of a hell of a long time diagnosed with Alzheimer’s some time ago, and chose for her to live with him because he vowed to take care of her in the good and in the bad. Some of you might not understand what that means for this man. Living with someone with later stages of Alzheimer’s is like babysitting. Things such as simple daily routines are non-existent to her. Bathing, eating, sleeping, driving, conversing, going potty, none of those things are possible on her own in the later stages of Alzheimer’s. So, he shared with me that he was struggling keeping up with his wife. He, like anyone else at his age, his health is starting to deteriorate. He needed help with Medicare, and we discussed that for a bit….Then he began telling me about the last time he had to call an ambulance.  “I sat there across the room from her, the love of my life, and she couldn’t pour herself a glass of water. I had already been feeling bad that day. Then something just happened and I couldn’t handle it. I knew I needed help I just didn’t know why I wasn’t feeling okay.” He went on to share with me that basically when EMS got him in the ambulance – he couldn’t utter the words “heartbreak or heart ache” or say anything at all. He was confused, sad, sick, and then he realized he was about to drive away from their house. Driving away from their house meant leaving her, alone. He said he then cried. It was the first time in years he had left her. He had the sweetest southern accent. He proceeded to tell me parts of that conversation over again, and again, aaannnd again but that’s not the point.

Some of you might not get anything from this, and it might very well be one of those “guess you gotta be there” moments. But, for what it’s worth, that sweet old man made my heart happy. Life is too short to live unhappy. We are here to love each other. I think it’s rare now days for someone to have such a raw love and compassion.

(photo @pinterest

Gratitude… and how it turns what we’ve got into enough.

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Today I had a list day. I think that’s just how my brain organizes things. After a pleasant trip to pinnacle mtn, I sat down and wrote out things I needed to do, things stressing me out, and things I am grateful for. Somehow this always gets my attitude in check. We often miss the little things, but those are the best things sometimes.

precious dogs that are tail wagging excited to see me no matter the day or time.
running into sweet friends while checking the mail.
coworkers that are patient and clients who are precious.
seasons changing and cool nights.
music; and it’s ability to comfort any mood.
the stress relief of lifting weights.
places that feel like home.
givers; like the client who brought me a bag full of books and dvd’s.
books- and the brief vacation my mind takes reading.
notes on bathroom mirrors.
mail from friends. Something sweet about doing things old school.

Also, here is a little gem I found on my drive.

I am not sure what the trend is with articles written over such controversial topics. I recently read an article on Elite Daily, which I typically enjoy reading. However, this article was so erroneous – I was livid. I immediately shared with the editor that I thought the article was not only horribly written, but incorrect, and offensive to women. The article was taken down as quickly as it was posted. But I still was so disappointed with the magazine for even publishing such a horrible piece. I promise I am not going to quote vagina monologues or say that women don’t need men, or something dramatic. But…with some encouragement from someone, I wrote a long blog about “sexual violence” and “rape culture” and how bogus this trend people are writing about is so far off. Granted, I am not a medical doctor, nor am I a man. After writing it I took a few days to let it sit in my mind, debating if it was something I would want to attach my name to… And – i deleted it. I am now however publishing my infamous list style blog, to refrain from a ton of paragraphs that most people would not finish, and people would somehow miss the point. So these are the things I know to be true about sexual violence, take it or leave it.

Most of these are in response to articles I have previously read.

Woman’s perspective.

1. Women do not desire to be “conquered”
2. If your guy friends high five you when you announce you slept with someone – you need new friends.
3. It is not our shame to carry, it’s his.
4. No – is a complete sentence
5. A rapist is not only a man seen hiding behind bushes at night; he could be the star of the football team.
6. We are not, and should never be “trophies”.
7. Rape is not about sex.
8. “If she doesn’t fight back, she wants it” Are you serious!?
9. “She never told the police, if it was that big of a deal she would have” 50-90% of rapes go unreported. Dummy.
10.  It is not an error in judgement on either party, it is a crime.
11. The way a woman dresses- yes it can influence the way a man sees her, but her booty shorts don’t condone YOUR actions.
12. Sorry, Tosh.O your rape jokes aren’t funny.
13.College campuses are not educated! They are ignorant, and with over 55 colleges and 27 states are currently under federal investigation for not taking action  – it’s safe to say they’d rather ignore it than do anything about it.
14. Male rape exists, and I guarantee you no man gets a high five sharing that one with his buddies.
15. Rape is reality, it is not only on SVU.
16. Supporting athletes who are accused or charged with rape and calling their victims career-destroyers are ridiculous.
17. Guys who use “rape”  casual conversation are idiots.. No you didn’t just rape that biology final..  Our colloquial use of the word “rape” speaks to a larger issue in our culture.
18. Politicians and administrators quoting “you can’t get pregnant from rape”… Seriously?
19. Misogynist music…Yes, I am going there. Have you ever listened to public rap stations? I love rap music but recently I realized what kind of ridiculous lyrics are in songs on the radio. I don’t mean a cuss word here or there, I mean sexually abusive lyrics. I won’t get explicit but the songs played are disgusting.
20. “I struggled with it myself for a long time but I came to realize that life is that gift from God and I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.” Great GOP Candidate right?! God doesn’t intend rape dumbass.
21. There is a judgement that is assumed when a girl claims she is raped.. “did she lead him on” “she shouldn’t have let him in her house” Save your opinions and questions.
22. Brave women are not “feminists”.

I will quit venting, I could go on all day. And I know me writing this makes me apart of the “trendy rape culture writing”, and that is okay. Because everything I think, say, and do is my own. As for elite magazine, I am certain they will think about their audience before publishing some bs like they have in the past.

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