Life is so much more enjoyable with tunes like these…
Life is so much more enjoyable with tunes like these…
I haven’t been on here in so long. But my whole life has changed in a matter of two weeks. Really my entire year has been a whirlwind. Good – nonetheless. I had my 1st anniversary, we moved into our favorite house and naturally I had our whole lives planned out for the next 5 years in Arkansas.
Typical – but circumstances changed and prayers were definitely answered. As a result, our house is for sale and here I sit in a two bedroom apartment in Fort Worth wondering what we have gotten ourselves into.
I started a job a week after we got here. I don’t love it but it’s a job. Wes is thrilled to be working where he is and we are SO fortunate to have the opportunity for him. He is working like a dog and never been happier. I am really proud of him. I have watched him grow a LOT over the past 3 years.
The alone time has been so healthy for me (now that I have adjusted a day or three) and I am starting to find my “old” not so busy self. I have spent a lot of time with Oswalt Chambers, good music and a lot of silent mornings with long walks but I know the best life is coming. I think 2018 will be our best year.
Things I have found to be true in TX…
Grocery stores are much nicer
Food is incredible
Spin class is pricey
Everyone is nice
Everyone wears cowboy boots
Everyone loves craft beer
Valet trash is a thing
I haven’t written in my free time in almost a year.. Hell I haven’t had free time in almost a year. I can’t believe its 2016, so much so that I still write 2015.
I have learned more in the last year than I probably want to acknowledge, but it’s nice to know each year I can reflect and I am headed further in the right direction each time I reflect.
This is what 2015 taught me..
Relationships change, and that just is what it is.
It’s okay to like something- even if its Justin Bieber’s new cd.
Being happy, truly happy, matters a lot.
You cannot expect anything from anyone; humans are humans.
Compromise is important, but above all communication is key.
Love can be ugly, but that’s exactly why its love *for good or bad.
Family changes, and that sucks.
Saying what you mean and meaning what you say are A LOT.
The thought of not being an attorney someday makes me sick to my stomach.
Getting dental work done is stressful, but 3 times a day it’s worth it.
Trust is hard to regain, and better never lost.
Grace is hard. It’s not pretty but it must be given unconditionally.
I love my job. I love elders and have found my purpose.
Health is important, and a diagnosis is only words on paper and its sometimes wrong. What you do about it is all that matters.
I hate unloading the dishwasher.
Deciphering what I have been taught to believe and what I believe is a sometimes hard.
Best friends – no matter how far away- are SO vital.
I’ve learned to be who I needed when I was younger, in many ways.
I need sleep to function, and making it a priority is better for everyone.
I often think I know everything, and I don’t.
A happy home life, is a successful and more focus work life.
Criminal law makes my skin crawl as a profession but its great for tv.
The LSAT also makes my skin crawl.
It may be into 2017 before I have a chance to sit down and evaluate my life again. But that is okay too.
Lately, I have had some incredible run-ins (if you will) with women. I have the best friends a girl could ask for but I determined that there are certain things about a woman that makes me appreciate her.
She says blouse instead of shirt.
She mothers her children, above her work.
She can read between the lines and is intelligent where it matters most.
She can appreciate a good handbag.
She can sense urgency without having to be told.
She does nothing out of spite.
She is passionate about what she does, and what she stands for.
She knows her worth, and doesn’t ask for attention.
She knows the difference between good and well.
She knows when enough is enough.
She respects herself as well as other women, and behaves accordingly.
I was lucky enough to be raised by a perfect example of what a “woman” should be. Whether it’s who I should be to my someday husband or to my family or friends. This may seem like a “what the hell is she talking about” blog but I think it’s quite alright to appreciate the little things. For those women, I am thankful.
I hate that Kanye is even a part of the song that’s been in my head for days. I am not even certain what “wildin” means and I am almost certain that I don’t do it. But if I am going to be stuck inside any longer I just might…
I love Florence + The Machine as of lately.. This girl had a mental break down kinda situation and as a result of that she has made some hella good music. She is kind of artsy and weird – but this video is talent. It’s not a truffle butter, but I will warn you girl is naked in this video.
” The best thing you could possibly do for yourself is simplify your world, and learn to love yourself; even if that means creating boundaries and making decisions that only feel best for you.”
One of my doctors said this to me at our last checkup…. This guy really could double for a therapist, which is really nice. But he is my regular md. and he is so so wise. When he said this to me- it didn’t really make sense?
Basically I had to reorganize his “advice” for it to make sense….
– simplify your world
-learn to love yourself
-Make decisions based on what I feel
I did just this. I started simplifying as much as I could. I spent time with myself to see if I even liked myself. This sounds so strange, but for some people focusing on just themselves is really uncomfortable. It was for me for a long long time. I started slowly but I have created boundaries with people and things that stress me out. Some of these are really not easy for me to maintain – but it’s already helping. Lastly, I have tried to make 100% of the decisions I make in MY own best interest.
Try it. I feel like even in the past 5 weeks – – these things have happened just from a few tiny changes..
+I have been more focused and successful at work.
+I really look forward to and enjoy – ME time.
+I am excited about the future for the first time in a long time.
+More rational and realistic in my needs.
+I feel better. Things that used to make me stressed have a bit less impact on how I feel.
A lot of times in our elder planning meetings we discuss “good kind of selfish” and at 26 it was time I figured out what that meant. When a plane is crashing, do you help your loved ones by putting on their mask first? If you care about them – you hurry and put yours on first so you can breathe while you help them put theirs on.
AND now I am going to walk my dog in this weather. booyah.
I have been working a little this afternoon trying to compartmentalize the wealth of knowledge I attained in LA. I don’t think I have ever had a more inspirational work seminar. Attorneys, a lot of them, consider themselves Gods gift to humans – some almost as bad as doctors. But like everything else in the world there are good and there are bad. The presenter has been an attorney for 30+ years, and that was the least of his attributes. I really can appreciate a great speaker.
While on this trip I started and finished “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed. I had recently seen the movie and the book was much better as always – but it was also very applicable and almost supplemental to the seminar I was attending.
I am certain as I venture through the materials I brought home and reflect on what I have learned – I will have plenty of lists coming in the future….
1. You will never know the life you didn’t choose.
2. Things that are irrevocable – are just that.
3. You have a choice for every single thing you do. Your life is only a compilation of your choices.
4. Start every single day with a positive affirmation. My motto has always been fake it till you make it – but I am learning that actually having a DAILY positive affirmation can really turn things around.
5. Your entire life is connected. Your health, wealth, career, priorities, friends, habits, hobbies…etc…
6. If you do things the same way you always have – you’ll always get the same result.
7. Sprinting towards the best version of yourself doesn’t mean you are accepting everything that has happened to you – it means you have learned to endure it.
8. You must train your mind to filter unnecessary thoughts.
9. Get a planner – and use it. Get organized on your time and prioritize how you use it.
10. Weigh indulgences – don’t eliminate them. Eat the macroon. Rewards regardless how large encourage growth.
Your ex or best friend got married-
This is one of those things you never talk about because intentions might be misinterpreted but it’s weird. I remember when my first real boyfriend got married – I was SO happy for him and think his wife is a treasure- it’s still weird. Weird in a sense of instantly questioning if you should be married.
You lose a best friend or two-
One of my best friends from college and I don’t really talk nor do we still have sleepovers. Woof. Adult life sometimes separates people you once thought you’d always be able to hangout with.
Quitting something you love-
I think a lot of us in our 20’s have given up things we used to really enjoy doing whether that’s playing guitar, or reading.. Life is busy now. I have to remind myself to slow down sometimes so I can still do some of the things I did in college that I love.
A budget is a real thing-
All 3 salaries I have lived on I have made ends meet, but always had those months where I wondered why I had no money. A budget is a thing of the present and it’s SO worth the time. I not only have bills paid but i know where each dollar goes and that feels nice.
You are what you eat-
I used to eat poptarts and hot pockets with a week full of wine or beer in college and still fit in my jeans no questions asked. I worked out because it was fun in college. Now, I have learned I can’t eat chik fil a like its about to close and not be thick. Not to mention mental clarity at work eating crap 3 meals a day plus alcohol on the reg doesn’t produce good work. So, I indulge when it’s necessary but I realize the gym and I will always be in a long term relationship.
The one who doesn’t like you back-
Maybe I am the only one. But until my 25 I always dated guys I liked and they liked me back. But as an adult – dating is quite different. I can honestly say though it’s quite humbling to not be liked back.
You felt old for the first time-
In the past year I have started getting gray hair. I don’t even know how I feel about it. Not to mention a 401k, and whether or not some trends are too young for me to pull off…and few other weird things I thought only “adults” did. Welcome to adulthood.
20’s are fun. 20’s are teaching me a lot.